I Don’t Know What To Do With My Life

I’m 19 years old and although some people would say that’s young and that I have plenty of time to decide on a future, I don’t feel that way. During all of high school, I was told that I had to decide on what I wanted to do with my life and who I want to be. At the age of only 14, I was picking my subjects to study for GCSE knowing that the subjects I chose would have a huge impact on my future. Little Me still wasn’t sure what I wanted to be when I grew up. Appointments were made through school to see a career advisor and I was given a big long list of possible careers. I remember spending hours highlighting and crossing out jobs that I did and didn’t want to do. I settled for choosing a range of subjects to study. During the two years of studying my GCSEs, I still wasn’t sure what I wanted to do. I finished my GCSEs and came out with pretty average grades.

After GCSEs it was time for another important decision which was what I wanted to do now that school was over. I was faced with so many options and I just felt overwhelmed. I could have studied A-Levels in a range of subjects or I could have gone to college and choose a course that would take me down a certain career path. As I still wasn’t sure what career I wanted to go into, I decided to study A-Levels meaning that I could study a range of subjects again. I settled for studying psychology, sociology and creative writing.

A-levels were an awful decision for me and I really regret choosing to study them. There’s such a huge jump from GCSEs to a-levels and I just wasn’t read for it. I ended up leaving my a-level course and dropping out of education. Since then I have tried a-levels again and failed.

Having failed at a-levels and still having no idea what I want to do with my life, I ended up in a little bit of a dead end. And that’s where I am now!

I’m in a place where I am confused about who i am and what I want to do with my future. I don’t know if I want to go back into education or if I want to get a job. I have certain dreams and aspirations but none of them seem to be able to get me a job. I dream of travelling the world but sadly, I can’t make a career out of that.

My future is very uncertain and I’m not good with that. Maybe this is something that I need to start to accept. After all, life is a journey.

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  1. February 22, 2016 / 1:34 pm

    Sweetheart …my heart really goes out to you …I am probably old enough to be your Mum but remember feeling similar ….my 16 year old son is currently going through the same and if anything I think young people have it even harder today than my generation ….there are SO many options and SO much pressure on young people to decide on a career and go for it ….that said ….you could maybe consider doing volunteer support work to get your foot in the door and experience to get into one of the ‘caring’ professions with those GCSE’s ….maybe take a vocational route into a career ……ultimately you will know what feels right for you …..and your so right that ‘life is a journey’ ….over 20 years in to my current career and I find MYSELF at a crossroads at my ripe old age:D:D:D:D
    Discuss with those close to you ….don’t beat yourself up about it …don’t feel you have to ‘compete’ with others who seem to know exactly what they want to do …..enjoy your life …and keep your cheery little blog going to keep a hand in with the creative writing too
    Best wishes to you and for your future 🙂 X

  2. February 23, 2016 / 12:21 am

    Sometimes it takes time to decide what you want to do and that isnt a bad thing. Further education (uni) is hard hard work but also its so much fun. I know that getting a full time job is good too and you can work your way up and be successful that way, and apprenticeships are available! There are so many options but its just hard picking one! Always here if you need a chat x

  3. February 23, 2016 / 11:47 am

    Dont worry you will find what you want to do.. im 22 years old and i still dont know exactly what i want to do… im a qualified makeup artist but ive just recently decided i wanted to do hair aswell… i keep changing my mind… just like you i chose a-levels and regret it because i feel like i didnt get much from it… but its ok you will find what you want to do… if you need someone to talk to feel free to drop me an email… its always nice to have someon to chat to 🙂 xx

  4. February 24, 2016 / 9:27 pm

    I chose a few A-levels based on what I thought I needed to learn to get onto a particular career path… it turns out that was the wrong thing to do (based on what I was trying to achieve), and I almost failed them all because I struggled so much either because I found them too tough or because I just lost interest part the way through (a common trend for me since finishing high school)… somehow I still managed to put to use what I had learned when I found myself choosing to become self employed when I couldn’t find work.

    It can be hard to find that path – I see it with family and friends – all I can suggest is pick apart what you do enjoy doing, whether it be a subject you enjoy (or part of one) or a hobby you have, and follow that… for now, see where it takes you. Some people aim for a particular career and that works for them, but that approach doesn’t work for everyone, especially when nothing seems to ‘fit’.

  5. March 13, 2016 / 8:22 pm

    It sounds like you’re in such a difficult place right now. Thank you for writing so honestly, so inspired by your boldness. I know this will really speak to many people! Keep doing what you’re doing, will be praying that your path becomes a little clearer. In the meantime keep up the writing, you write so beautifully!

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