I’m 19 years old and although some people would say that’s young and that I have plenty of time to decide on a future, I don’t feel that way. During all of high school, I was told that I had to decide on what I wanted to do with my life and who I want to be. At the age of only 14, I was picking my subjects to study for GCSE knowing that the subjects I chose would have a huge impact on my future. Little Me still wasn’t sure what I wanted to be when I grew up. Appointments were made through school to see a career advisor and I was given a big long list of possible careers. I remember spending hours highlighting and crossing out jobs that I did and didn’t want to do. I settled for choosing a range of subjects to study. During the two years of studying my GCSEs, I still wasn’t sure what I wanted to do. I finished my GCSEs and came out with pretty average grades.
After GCSEs it was time for another important decision which was what I wanted to do now that school was over. I was faced with so many options and I just felt overwhelmed. I could have studied A-Levels in a range of subjects or I could have gone to college and choose a course that would take me down a certain career path. As I still wasn’t sure what career I wanted to go into, I decided to study A-Levels meaning that I could study a range of subjects again. I settled for studying psychology, sociology and creative writing.
A-levels were an awful decision for me and I really regret choosing to study them. There’s such a huge jump from GCSEs to a-levels and I just wasn’t read for it. I ended up leaving my a-level course and dropping out of education. Since then I have tried a-levels again and failed.
Having failed at a-levels and still having no idea what I want to do with my life, I ended up in a little bit of a dead end. And that’s where I am now!
I’m in a place where I am confused about who i am and what I want to do with my future. I don’t know if I want to go back into education or if I want to get a job. I have certain dreams and aspirations but none of them seem to be able to get me a job. I dream of travelling the world but sadly, I can’t make a career out of that.
My future is very uncertain and I’m not good with that. Maybe this is something that I need to start to accept. After all, life is a journey.