There’s a journey that we all take in life. Sometimes we don’t know it’s happening but sometimes we are very aware of each step we take. The journey that I’m talking about is our body confidence journeys.
I wanted to talk about my own journey today since it has been a little bit of a bumpy journey.
When you’re younger, your body confidence isn’t something that you really think about. I wish that was how it was now.
During primary school years, I was a little bit bigger than most of the children but it really didn’t matter to me. I was chubby but I mostly found it funny as people would always squish my cheeks and call me cute.
When I was a teenager, I developed a real self hatred for my own body. My confidence was at an all time low and I started developing a weird relationship with foods. I started to try weird diets. Some would include not eating much at all and other’s would include only milkshakes. I even tried ‘binge and purging’ which I hope that no one else tries.
Whenever I looked in the mirror, my mind screamed ‘FAT, UGLY, CHUBBY, HORRID’ and any other horrible word that you can think of to describe a person.
I eventually managed to gain control of my relationship with food and I started eating what my body needed without worrying. I lost a bit of weight. I started to feel a little bit better in myself. That was until someone mentioned anything about my appearance. It doesn’t matter if it was a compliment or insult, it damaged my confidence. I took every insult to heart and assumed that all compliments were jokes. I was not in a good place even though I had lost a little weight.
That’s when I started to realist that no matter what size my body was, I would never be happy.
That’s when I decided to become a diet industry drop out and see fat as a fact and not an insult. Do you know what, I am fat. I’m also beautiful, funny, caring and smart. being fat doesn’t make me any less of a person.
I think that it’s definitely safe to say that I am becoming very confident with my body. Sure, I have some issues sometimes. Occasionally I struggle to feel good about myself but so does everyone. That’s not always a size thing. Sometimes I’m just not feeling great!
I hope that you all feel beautiful in your own skin because you are fabulous no matter what size you are!